Saturday, May 28, 2005
Sometimes Technology is NOT a Good Thing
Check this out and tell me that we've come a long way toward the sexes being equal. Who else would buy these except insecure and overbearing husbands and boyfriends? Actually, I've heard that the male version of these are selling faster than the female version. But here are some comments from women

This weekend, the fifth woman ever is running in the Indy 500. I don't give two shits for a bunch of rednecks driving in a circle, but at least it has the interesting component of Danica Patrick actually having a shot to win it this year. Yet, even that story is overshadowed by the one the press played up: she's attractive! That's right, that's the most important part of this story, the fact that she's not a dog. Reminds me of when idiot James Inhofe was asked to say something nice about Mayor Susan Savage, he said, "Well, she's kind of cute." How does it feel to be stuck in 1959, Oklahoma? To top it all off, some of the other drivers are saying she has an unfair edge because she's smaller. They say that because she weighs less than most men, her car is carrying less weight and can therefore run faster. What a load of crap! I know nothing about NeckCar or Indy racing, but I do know that they don't take into account the weight of the driver when determining how fast the car will go.

These chauvinists give us run-of-the-mill chauvinists a bad name.

On the Jack the Ripper front, a new theory emerging has a new suspect at its center. Now, there's a new suspect almost every time there's a new book, so that's not notable. What's notable is that the suspect this time is an obvious and silly one. It's Arthur Conan Doyle, writer of the Sherlock Holmes stories. Maybe not as silly as the book proposing Lewis Carroll (Alice in Wonderland author) as the Ripper, but almost. Turns out that all of his Sherlock stories were a front that contained codes that must be broken to reveal Doyle's crimes, sort of like Davinci Code. Yeah, right. Hmm, who's left to accuse from that era? Oscar Wilde? His friend, Miles, has been fingered. Queen Victoria? Her grandson and, more recently, her son have been put forth as suspects. If you can think of a Victorian Era "superstar," there's probably been at least a story written that points toward that person as Jack the Ripper. Silly, but good for me. For every new book and theory that gets publicized, that makes my proposed JTR dissertation a possibility. I'm not going to go for a suspect, but write "around" the case. But these theories are getting crazier and crazier. Or is it, "curiouser and curiouser?"

N.B. The above panties story is a hoax. Check out the explanation. But I believe the technology is real.
posted by Lavaughn Towell @ 11:17 PM | 7 comments

At 11:54 PM, Blogger ET said...

Okay, first let me just say I am taking BACK the undies you got me!

Next, the horseracing industry dealt with the weight issue a long time ago by "handicapping" a horse by having a jockey compensate for any loss in weight (say, between him or her and another jockey) by adding weights into the saddle or pad. Of course, if the woman's car were weighted equally, the men would just say they were distracted because she was hot and they wanted to sleep with her, or some other sexist bullshit. They could just slip her some "forget-me-nots" and monitor her throughout the race. Either way, you can bet I won't be watching.

At 10:02 AM, Blogger Rachel said...

I didn't read the comments on the 2nd page. But logistically if these things were real, you'd have to be able to tell wifey, daughter, girlfriend, etc "Hey baby, why not wear those flower panties I got you?"

What's N.B. mean? News Bulletin???

At 2:33 PM, Blogger LT said...

nota bene
"Note well" (often abbreviated "N.B.") is used in writing to draw attention to something especially.

From Latin to English dictionary.

I've heard that there are some types of these underwear in Japan, but they're for men and they can detect "secretions." Who knows, they may be an urban legend as well.

At 11:00 PM, Blogger ET said... we can all monitor Japanese men with incontinence problems.

At 10:16 AM, Blogger Rachel said...

Japanese men with incontinence problems OR swaty balls. (remember THAT SNL?)

At 1:31 PM, Blogger LT said...

Yes, Pete Shweaty is my favorite skit. I have it in my Windows Player and play it all during Christmas.

At 12:45 AM, Blogger ET said...

Schweaty Balls! I love 'em! Probably misspelled it, but what the hell. That is a great skit. Ranks right up there with my Cowbell. I GOTTA HAVE MORE COWBELL!


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