Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Sleep-Deprived Focker
In order to foster goodwill in my house, I agreed to watch Meet the Fockers with ET last night. "Agreed" may be too strong, 'cause with me that means grumbling and bitching before, during and after it. But about halfway through that pile of crap, I was ready to fire up the yard edger and run it over myself. I don't think ET really liked it either, because she offered to turn it off. This is the biggest-grossing comedy of all time? Man. What the hell is the matter with people? That wasn't funny, it was just uncomfortable. Anyone who has to meet the future in-laws or just the family of someone you're dating knows how there's NOTHING funny about being criticized or never being able to do anything right in their eyes.
In an era where Roy Mercer tapes sell, where people go on reality TV shows, where Punk'd is a hit and Jackass is made into a movie, are we so stupid that we can't tell we're being humiliated? I'm talking about the contestants of those shows, not the audience. Schadenfreude is and always will be with us. What I don't get is when we all demand our rights, demand to be catered to and in a country where teachers are told not to use red ink to grade because "it makes the students feel bad," we will knowingly humiliate ourselves publicly. Does anyone else see the conflict here? Is fame OK at any price, no matter what you have to do to get it? I'm sure Oswald had the same thoughts. That's what's scary.
Anyway, ET bought a new foam underthingy for the bed because the mattress is too hard and we've both had trouble sleeping, not to mention that the feather bed pseudo-mattress-for-on-top-of-the-other mattress she bought before is too big and makes the fitted sheet come off. So the new one feels OK, but I still cannot fall asleep for more than a few minutes at a time. Even when I come home from work and snooze at about 8pm, it doesn't last the whole night. You know those days when you come home from whatever, you have nothing to do, nothing due and no pressing engagements, go to sleep accidentally and sleep for about 15 hours? Those are great. Unfortunately, I haven't had one of those days in years. Remember when you didn't want to go to sleep as a kid?
Then,our hot water heater went out and we have a 6 year warranty that covers everything except fixing it, so we had to buy a part and have the next door neighbors install it because I'm the anti-handyman. The woman from the manufacturer even told ET to just buy the part and "I'm sure your husband knows how to put it on." Sorry, not this fella. I was never good at anything mechanical. Even as a kid,my model cars were denied liability insurance because of safety defects. They weren't considered "rug safe." Reminds me of a Bloom County where they were going to present a paper on men's place in modern society called, "Men Today: Stale Roles and Tight Buns."
In an era where Roy Mercer tapes sell, where people go on reality TV shows, where Punk'd is a hit and Jackass is made into a movie, are we so stupid that we can't tell we're being humiliated? I'm talking about the contestants of those shows, not the audience. Schadenfreude is and always will be with us. What I don't get is when we all demand our rights, demand to be catered to and in a country where teachers are told not to use red ink to grade because "it makes the students feel bad," we will knowingly humiliate ourselves publicly. Does anyone else see the conflict here? Is fame OK at any price, no matter what you have to do to get it? I'm sure Oswald had the same thoughts. That's what's scary.
Anyway, ET bought a new foam underthingy for the bed because the mattress is too hard and we've both had trouble sleeping, not to mention that the feather bed pseudo-mattress-for-on-top-of-the-other mattress she bought before is too big and makes the fitted sheet come off. So the new one feels OK, but I still cannot fall asleep for more than a few minutes at a time. Even when I come home from work and snooze at about 8pm, it doesn't last the whole night. You know those days when you come home from whatever, you have nothing to do, nothing due and no pressing engagements, go to sleep accidentally and sleep for about 15 hours? Those are great. Unfortunately, I haven't had one of those days in years. Remember when you didn't want to go to sleep as a kid?
Then,our hot water heater went out and we have a 6 year warranty that covers everything except fixing it, so we had to buy a part and have the next door neighbors install it because I'm the anti-handyman. The woman from the manufacturer even told ET to just buy the part and "I'm sure your husband knows how to put it on." Sorry, not this fella. I was never good at anything mechanical. Even as a kid,my model cars were denied liability insurance because of safety defects. They weren't considered "rug safe." Reminds me of a Bloom County where they were going to present a paper on men's place in modern society called, "Men Today: Stale Roles and Tight Buns."
You know, they make great drugs for knocking you out a full 8 hours. hmm...my doctor is medication liberal (referred to me by Adam), maybe I should get some for myself.
Just in self-defense here, I would have considered putting that part on the hot water heater myself EXCEPT that it is a NATURAL GAS hot water heater, and I have this inherent fear of explosions... particularly when I am at ground zero. So I leave it to my trusty neighbors who say they know stuff about hot water heaters (and had it fixed in five minutes after I got a diagnosis and the part). So really, the hardest part of the whole ordeal was cleaning out the garage to GET to the hot water heater.
I think with time, less afternoon/ early evening naps, and a more regular bedtime schedule, we might eventually get on a normal sleep schedule whereby you can sleep through the night. I don't recommend sleeping meds because they are addictive and they could react with other stuff that you take.
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